For You
by AutumnsFlowers
Summary: This is a collection of four short one shots about Hinamori and Hitsugaya. The first two are from Hinamori s point of view, the last two from Hitsugaya s. There isn t an order, it s just an indepth on their characters and the relationship between them.
1. Nightmares

**This is a collection of four short one shots about Hinamori and Hitsugaya. The first two are from Hinamori´s point of view, the last two from Hitsugaya´s. There isn´t an oreder, it´s just an indepth on their characters and the relationship between them. **

**Nightmare: Set before the Winter War and after the scene where Hitsugaya talks with Hinamori while he is in the world of the living. **

**Disclaimer: I obviously don´t own Bleach nor it´s amazings characters. They belong to Tite Kubo.**

* * *

**Nightmare**

It hurts. My head hurts. It hurts so bad I can´t even open my eyes.

Why should I open them anyway? My room is dark, I keep the curtains down day and night, so it makes no difference if I keep my eyes open or closed, it´s always dark. It´s dark when I´m awake, it´s dark when I´m asleep.

Even my dreams are dark. They are populated with shadows moving in a way I can´t deciphrate. I try to recognize the shadows, but I can´t see very well. It´s like having a thick fog in your eyes. I get tired of trying to figure out what is going on with the shadows and I concentrate on myself. I realize then that I can´t move. I can´t move a finger, I can´t even close my eyes. Why is that? Ah, wait I moved my tongue. A quick move, but I was able to taste something. A strange taste of steal. Why do I have steal in my mouth?

* * *

Isane said I dreamed of the moment I was stabbed by Captain Aizen. That would explain the taste of steal in my mouth.

Today Captain Unohana visited me. After she heard of my dreams, she placed her hand on my temple and began reciting a complicated healing Kidou spell. I tried to concentrate on the words but I soon gave up, in my head a nice refreshing sensation. She then gave me weird bottles of medicine that I should take every time I go to sleep. I take one now, in my head the strange refreshing sensations spreading again. She said this will allow me to sleep well.

I hope it does. I don´t want to dream of the shadows again.

* * *

I can open my eyes. The pain in my head is not completely gone but it´s not as strong as before. I can even move my head now.

The room is dark, like always. I cannot tell if it´s day or if it´s night.

Wait, what is that? Is that light? Ah, it looks that they haven´t closed the door properly, light is sliding inside.

I want to go back to sleep, but something stops me. I can´t stop staring at the light.

Suddenly the light disappears. They have closed the door. No more light.

…

…

The darkness is suffocating me.

…

…

…

No. No. NO. NO. GET THE LIGHT BACK, GET THE LIGHT BACK!

I start crying and screaming, and shouting. Take me away from this room, please, someone, help me!

I can´t move I can only scream and cry. I´m losing my mind again. HELP ME, HELP ME!

The door opens again. Someone heard my cry. Someone is coming to help me!

The next moment someone is beside me and lifting me. Then suddenly he pulls me closer to him and I can feel the warmth coming from his body.

He´s carrying me outside. I can´t see him very well, my eyes hurt because of the strong light and I´m still crying.

I´m not scared though. Something about the man carrying me is familiar. It´s a nice feeling, makes me feel like when I was a little child. I remember Granny used to tell me to pay more attention or I would get hurt and Shirou-chan teasing me for my recklessness… Shirou-chan.

I freeze at that name, and suddenly realize who the person carrying me is, hands tight on my body, as if I am about to break into pieces any moment.

I open my eyes and see a pair of big emerald eyes looking back at me, filled with so many emotions. Concern, pain, anger. I get lost in these emotions and find myself drowning in his eyes.

The words of our last conversation coming to my mind…

_Ne, Hitsugaya-kun… please save Aizen-taichou._

I can´t bear his look anymore.

I want to scream but no sound is coming from my mouth.

I don´t remember losing conscious.

* * *

Two months had passed since that day.

I understand the truth now. Aizen-taichou is gone. He is preparing to attack us, attack Soul Society.

I don´t really know what to feel anymore.

I can understand that what he is doing is bad, and I definitely think he must be stopped, but still… somehow I wish I could see him again one last time. I think I deserve it do I? I mean, I want to hear his reasons for doing this.

But mostly, I want to know why he used me like this. Was I really a tool in his hands? A pawn to use? Did he really play me and my dreams and then throw me away? Why?

_Because you were too naïve_, says Tobiume.

I shake my head so hard it hurts, but I can´t get her voice out and it hurts to know that she is right.

* * *

They are gone. All of them. The captains and the lieutenants are gone to the Living World, to fight Aizen, leaving me behind.

_She still needs to recover_ they say.

_We don´t know how she will act if she sees Aizen_.

I´m tired of their pity, of their worry. I´m tired of being everyone´s burden. This fight concerns me too, they cannot keep me away from it.

I won't be fooled by him again. He played me once but I´m not that little girl anymore. I´ve seen hell and I almost died because of it. But I survived. I´m alive and I plan to keep being like that.

I am Hinamori Momo, lieutenant of the 5th Division and I am going to represent my Division in this fight. I am going to show that Aizen hasn´t broken us, hasn´t broke me.

I grab Tobiume´s hilt and exit the building. The light of the day is so strong that it makes me half-close my eyes.

"Let´s go, Tobiume" I whisper.

_Let´s go._

* * *

_**I wrote this one very quickly lol XD as usual, big thank you to **_**starlight3395 **_**for your patience *hugs***_

_**Please R&R. I want to know what you think of it, so I can improve ^^**_


	2. Smile

**Smile**

**A/N: **Set some time after the enter of Hitsugaya in the Gotei.

* * *

"Thank you for your hard work Hinamori-kun." The short girl bowed at her captain, her cheecks turning slightly pink as a shy smile formed on her face.

Aizen nodded with satisfaction as he read the report his new lieutenant had spent the entire night writing. He raised his eyes and looked at the girl in front of him, who was now nervously playing with her fingers. One could hardly believe that such a young girl with her tiny fragile figure and pig-tailed hair could be a vice captain. But Aizen was no such man. He saw the potential in her.

After he dismissed her, Hinamori stood and prepared to leave, almost forgetting to take some other reports. He saw her potential, as he saw her weaknesses.

"Hinamori-kun, there is something else I would like to discuss with you." She stopped and looked at her captain questioningly.

"You might be interested in knowing what we discussed at the captain´s meeting. After some debating we accorded ourselves on who should take the role of captain of the 10th Squad." Hinamori narrowed her eyes. How was she involved in this? She certainly was not the nominated person. She had just become a lieutenant!

"It hasn´t been publicly announced yet but I decided to tell you since you know him pretty well" he paused "Hitsugaya Toushiro from the 10th Division will become its next captain."

He studied her reaction. She gasped in surprise. _What? Shirou-chan? Captain?_ She looked at him with a shocked expression but he simply smiled back.

* * *

_Shirou-chan… a Captain? A captain like Aizen-taichou?_Was all she could think of for the following days. She had difficulties imagining her childhood friend with a white haori like the one her captain had.

Ignoring her duties that first day after receiving the announcement from her captain she had run to the 10th Division. They were in the middle of an exercitation. She hid behind a wall and searched for her friend. She immediately found him among all the shinigami. Hitsugaya stood out from the rest: partly because he was the shortest and partly because of his white spiky hair. _How can he become a captain? He isn't ready, he is… Shirou-chan._She had looked at him. He had an annoyed expression and a frown on his face. The sword on his back was almost as long as his body. Looking at the sword sent a shiver through Hinamori´s body. Suddenly, she lost the courage to talk to him and ran back to her division.

She had seen him again in the next days, but avoided meeting him face to face. It was odd. The more she looked at him, at his always-concentrated expression, the more the image of Shirou-chan abandoned her mind. It was like looking at a stranger.

The short boy who used to mock her and kick her knees to get her attention, who ate industrial quantities of watermelon, the boy she had loved and took care of for all those years, was not him. This boy was now a shinigami, a soon-to-be captain.

For the first time in years, Hinamori felt like not addressing him as Shirou-chan anymore, but Hitsugaya-kun.

* * *

_He is always so serious_, she thought as she sat down on a step outside the 10th Division. She still hadn´t found the courage to talk to him. She sighed as she looked at the shinigami returning to their Divisions after a long day of work. Subconsciously she started looking for a mass of white hair, but he wasn´t among them.

"Who are you looking for?" came a voice from behind her. She squeaked and jumped up in surprise. He was right behind her, arms crossed on his chest. He rose an eyebrow at her reaction and stared at her.

"Uh, ah you scared me Hitsugaya-kun!"

"I noticed you other times here; I thought you might've wanted to ask me something."

"Uhm, there is something. I …" she stopped. An awkward silence fell between them. It wasn´t right, they had never been like this before. She had always thought she could talk with him about everything. Things have become so different now.

"Aizen-taichou told me you´ve been nominated Captain of the 10th Division." She couldn´t help the shade of sadness that slid through her voice. He noticed it, but didn´t say anything.

"Yes, I´ve been told that."

"Uh? You don´t look so surprised."

"Why should I? Since I entered the Gotei 13 I´ve beaten everyone in every discipline. When I mastered bankai I knew it was a matter of time before I could receive captaincy."

She gasped: "Y-you?... Bankai?"

He shrugged. She looked at him, eyes wide. Hinamori was still struggling with her shikai and he had already mastered bankai? How? When?

She tried to smile: "Ah… congratulations Hitsugaya-kun, I´m happy for you." She wasn´t really, and she hated herself because of it. "You will now be a captain just like Aizen-taichou. Waa, that means a lot of responsibilities! You will have a lieutenant to help you and…" her attempt to sound cheerful failed and her voice soon broke off.

"Idiot. I know all this."

"Ah…" she stopped her rambling and lowered her head, trying to hide the tears that were forming in her eyes "I have to go now. Congratulations again on the nomination."

She ran before he could stop her.

"Hinamori…"

* * *

She leaned on the wall of her apartment, tears running down her face. Everything was happening too fast. Captaincy, bankai. The ceremony had been assisted by all captains and vice-captains. Everyone was amazed on seeing the youngest captain of Soul Society wearing his new haori, with Hyorinmaru secured on his back.

She couldn´t believe it, yet he seemed so confident in this new role. She wasn´t used to this new, serious composure of him. Since he was a kid he had always been stronger, faster and smarter than the rest of the children in the neighbourhood. Still she had always felt the need to look after him, She was taller and supposedly older than him. It was normal, it was _right._

She was still taller, but he wasn´t little Shirou-chan anymore. His face was more mature, his movements were calculated and his every action seemed to be one of an older, more wiser man rather than one of a young boy. He had surpassed her.

She felt useless. No, not useless. She felt like he was slipping from her reach and going far away, where she couldn´t follow him and there was nothing she could do to stop it. He didn´t need her anymore, she couldn´t give him anything. And it wasn´t fair, because she didn´t want to lose him.

"Hinamori… are you crying?" He was there again, beside her. She hadn´t heard him coming in. She quickly dried her tears with her sleeve.

"I´m just surprised by all this. It´s all so sudden." Her voice croaked. She looked up at him. His expression was sincerely concerned. She felt stupid for what she had thought before. Whenever she was sad, he had always been there for her.

"it´s just that everything is changing and I feel like you don´t need me anymore, like I can´t protect you anymore." She cried.

He sat beside her and embraced her.

"You are such a fool sometimes. You are not useless Hinamori, you never were. I should be thanking you for all the years you spent taking care of me, even if I had always acted like a real brat."

He looked her straight in the eye and whispered "If it hadn´t been for you, I would have never been here today". She would have understood the true meaning of this sentence only after many years but it was enough for her now.

She hugged him back as tightly as he could, sobbing into his shoulder, letting her worries slip away with her tears.

* * *

Months had passed since that day. Both of them had returned to their busy lives. Hitsugaya had no trouble accustoming to the new captain life. He was severe with his subordinates and requested the best from them. He had some trouble at first with getting people´s respect, but his aspect and his reiatsu, as well as his death glare soon accorded him the respect he deserved.

Hinamori hadn´t seen him much since the day of the ceremony and hadn´t gone to the 10th Division knowing that he was probably very busy these first months. But today Aizen had given her some documents that had to be delivered to the 10th Division Captain, and since her third seat was away on a mission, she had to deliver them herself.

She entered the 10th Division office to find the captain and lieutenant in the middle of an argument. She only caught the words "sake" and "not doing your paperwork" and "lazy old woman" before the blonde 10th Division lieutenant turned around and greeted her with a smile:

"You must be Hinamori-chan from the 5th Division."

"Yes, it´s me. Ehm… I´ve come to deliver these documents to Captain Hitsugaya."

Hitsugaya took the documents and quickly looked through them, then snorted and laid them on the table.

"I´ll read them tomorrow, they can´t expect me to fill them all in one day." Hinamori noticed the tiredness in his voice.

"Hitsugaya-kun…" she whispered, forgetting that she was in a room with two powerful shinigami that could hear her. They both looked at her, Matsumoto wondering _These two know each other?_

"What is it Hinamori?"

"Nothing, it´s just... You seem really tired."

He raised an eyebrow: "I do?... You are right, I should take a walk and rest a bit. Matsumoto, you finish the rest of the paperwork."

"Ehhh? What?" but he was already out, dragging Hinamori with him.

Outside, Hinamori couldn´t help but laugh:

"Hitsugaya-kun, you´re mean."

"Mph… she is lazy, it´s not my fault."

They walked for a while, under the warm sun of the spring, chatting a bit. Well, most of the talk was from Hinamori, but it didn´t matter. It was familiar, it was something they had missed, and they were cherishing this moment.

Hinamori knew the difficulties her friend had gone through. She had heard rumours coming from various shinigami about the white haired boy captain. He possessed the strongest ice-type zanpakuto and graduated in one of the fastest amounts of time in shinigami history, becoming the youngest captain ever recorded. He was a genius and many people speculated that he might be the reincarnation of a heavenly guardian. Because of these rumours people tended to be afraid of him, to respect and fear him.

Hinamori didn´t really care if these were true or not. She cared for her childhood friend, and seeing him always so stressed and serious… she wanted him to relax a bit, to smile, like he did in the old days. Well, to be sincere, his smile was usually more like an odd grin, but she knew that he was able to smile sincerely, and whenever she was able to see him smile like this, her heart became warmer and she knew she would give everything for him to keep smiling.

"Hitsugaya-kun, there is something I have been thinking for a while. Since you became a shinigami I never saw you resting once, you never take a break, you never smile. You are content when you achieve something but it´s like you don´t enjoy being a shinigami. Why did you even come here? Why did you become a captain?"

He stared at her in silence for a while and then shrugged.

"I have my reasons for joining the Academy and I have my reasons for wanting to become a captain too."

"Oh." She answered. It was something he wasn´t ready to tell her, and she could understand. She would wait, when he was ready, he would tell her.

"Hinamori, it´s late now, you should go back to your division."

She looked at the sky. The sun had long set and the first stars were beginning to show up.

"Well, bye then Hitsugaya-kun" she waved with her hand and turned around to go back to her quarters.

"Baka!" she spun around at the sound of his voice. He had an amused expression on his face as he said:

"You shouldn´t address me as _Hitsugaya-kun _anymore. It´s _Hitsugaya-taichou_ now." She couldn´t help but laugh at that and it was then that his lips moved upward and a smile formed on his face, a smile that spread to his eyes, a sincere smile.

Her eyes widened: "Hitsugaya-kun, you smiled!"

"Baka! Of course I smile, you just never notice it. And…" the next moment he was pulled in a tight hug.

"I want you to find happiness Shirou-chan."

He closed his eyes and hugged her back.

"I already found it, bed-wetter."

* * *

She can´t protect him anymore but she knows now. And whenever she sees him, she runs to him with a smile on her face. And her heart becomes lighter and warmer and she feels like flying when he smiles back. She might not able to protect him anymore, but she can still make him smile, and there is nothing else she could ask for.


	3. Pain

**A/N:** The angst... from Hitsugaya´s POV.

* * *

**Pain**

The room was dark. No sound or movement was coming from the little girl in the bed. She lied there, her eyes shut, her mind lost in a far away memory, away from the pain the present had brought her. The only sound in the room came from a breathing machine. She couldn´t breath by herself, the bastard had pierced her lungs and she would have died of suffocation from her own blood if Unohana wasn´t there.

He watched her silently, as he had been doing since he could stand up from his own injuries. If Unohana hadn´t been there…

But he had been there too. And he had been completely useless. The memory was still fresh in his mind. He hadn´t thought for a second that that man was no ordinary shinigami, no Captain had such power. He had killed the Chamber of 46 and planned the entire treachery that was bringing the Gotei 13 to downfall. He could only see his childhood friend, the person he most held dear lying down, drowning in her own blood. The anger and the frustration of the past days where her world as well as his had crushed down, revealing a truth made of lies which had taken control over common sense. Guided only by the primitive desire to kill he hadn´t seen Aizen´s attack and the traitor tore him down with one slash.

And it doesn´t help him accept his defeat the knowledge that Aizen revealed to be much more stronger than anyone thought he was, managing to defeat even Kuchiki Byakuya. To know that he had failed to protect her, which almost cost her her life hurt even more than the raging hate he felt for that man.

_He remembers the first time he had met him. Hinamori had told him so much about Captain Aizen that he had grown to hate him, jealous of the attention Hinamori paid him._

_But then Aizen had greeted him, with his gentle smile and courteous demeanor and he could see what Hinamori saw in him too. He was a strong and wise Captain, always gentle and caring. He was an inspiration for Hinamori. He had grown to respect him._

He clenched his fists. He had been played too. Aizen had played everyone and had chosen Hinamori to be the victim of his game._Why_, why her? She was so loving and gentle and clumsy and stupidly naïve, she would give the world to make someone happy.

Inspiring deeply he let go of his fists and came closer to her bed. She lied down, her skin pale, hair messed up on the pillow. She looked even more vulnerable than usual, like only a simple breeze could blow her away. It wasn´t right. She wasn´t supposed to be lying there in this dark room that smelled of medicaments and healing chants. She was made for the sun, the laughter, the warmth of the outside world. She shouldn´t be lying there in this room, dreaming of that uneventful moment that changed her forever.

_It will not happen again. I will make him pay for what he has done._

It´s the only promise left for him to make.

* * *

He comes back the next day. And the day after. The people of the fourth division are now used to his cold reiatsu and they don´t panic anymore when they sense his spiritual pressure sliding through the doors. They leave him be, having heard the rumors about the past he shared with the girl. Unohana had warned him that his reiatsu might be too strong for her weak body to handle but she had always been somehow immune to his deadly freezing spiritual pressure.

So he spends every spare moment he has there. He leans on the wall, arms crossed across his chest, eyes never leaving her still figure. He searches for a change, a sign that would tell him she is getting better, she is coming back, but she isn´t.

Soul Society is at war. The divisions are in alert status everyday the entire day. The fifth division is in chaos. Having lost both their captain and vice-captain no one is there to guide them. He had took responsibility for them but taking care of two divisions is tiring even for a genius like him and he is grateful for those hours he can spend there with her, even if they bring painful thoughts.

Matsumoto had showed herself to be incredibly understanding of the situation. After the traitors left she had spent a week only drinking and sleeping but had come out from it perfectly calm and offered him her help with his work. She had been extremely calm, content and hardworking these days. He knew this behavior had to do with Ichimaru, he had caught her sad expression looking outside the window. She and Ichimaru were childhood friends and although he didn´t know the details of their relationship he had no doubts that his lieutenant loved Ichimaru no less than he loved Hinamori. He didn´t ask her anything and she didn´t ask back. Between them was a mutual and silent comprehension and he was grateful to her for that.

* * *

He is there again months later. She had woken up, her wounds completely healed, her mind broken. She refuses to accept the truth. She is slowly coming back to reality but she is still having hysteric attacks and has to take strong calming pills to prevent her from having nightmares. Aizen had shattered her mind and left her in pieces.

The war is approaching. Everyone is training to prepare for the battle. He trains until his legs can´t take his weight anymore. The image of Hinamori´s too skinny figure after her rehab, dark circles under her eyes is enough to engulf him with rage.

He walks closer to her sleeping figure and allows himself to stroke a strand of her hair. Tomorrow he will face Aizen. Tomorrow he will kill that monster. He can not fail this time. He cannot lose her to him.

* * *

Ten days have passed since Ichigo had defeated Aizen. In the end it had been that orange haired human who had defeated the traitor. Even with the combined powers of all the Captains and Vizards they hadn´t managed to defeat him. Soul Society was slowly returning to its normal routine, or so it seemed. For some people things have irremediably changed and they will carry the scars of the war for a long time. There was no coming back to how things were before.

He had spent his first four days after the war at fourth division station. They had to sedate him in order to be able to heal him. He had turned the barracs where he was held into a hell of ice, his reiatsu flowing uncontrolled, freezing everything it encountered, his rage had turned his mind blank. Only with Unohana´s power had they been able to knock him out and heal him.

* * *

When he woke up it took him little to understand what had happened. He was in a room of the fourth division, his arm and leg were again attached to his body. _So they had won_. How, he didn´t know. Ichigo had probably had something to do with it, but honestly he didn´t care now. He tried to move but pain stroked him and he fainted.

When he next woke up Matsumoto and Isane were beside him. The fourth division lieutenant approached him with a glass a water. He shook his head and slowly opened his mouth to speak, his voice croaking:

"…_Hinamori_?"

* * *

They had told him she had survived. But she was in coma again and under organ reconstruction in the twelfth division. Unohana had explained to him that her organs were damaged to the point that normal kidou healing was not enough and only the twelfth division possessed the technology to repair them. He had aimed too good. If Unohana hadn´t immediately rushed to stabilize her and if Hinamori herself hadn´t been a shinigami with high spiritual power…

_If, if, if_. It was time to stop with the if and take the matters into his own hands. He exited the fourth division on the eighth day, all his wounds perfectly healed. Unohana had recommended him to rest for a couple of days more but he ignored her. Yamamoto had been kind enough to give everyone two weeks of rehabilitation to spend by themselves, and rest from the battle. He didn´t have time to lose.

Outside Seireitei was a cave. It went deep in the ground, perfect to keep his reiatsu from exiting too much and he could train without being interrupted.

Only once had he sensed Matsumoto´s spiritual presence. She had stopped outside the cave and had stood there for a while. He knew what she was going through but didn´t get out to comfort her. He couldn´t comfort her, she had to cope with her reality by herself as he had to cope with his.

* * *

When he looks at his sword he sees his limits. The power he had achieved until now had only been able to hurt Hinamori. If he wants to protect her, he would need to become more powerful. He is not the type to philosophy much. His current strength and power is at a level that most shinigami can only dream of and he knows he has plenty of years ahead to become even more powerful _but that is just not enough!_ It doesn´t matter if he can´t protect her.

"_Bankai…"_

The land of ice that is his heart covers everything. Again and again. He won´t stop. He will never stop protecting her from everything and everyone and himself too.

In this world of dead hopes he wants to walk beside her.


End file.
